Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Time Outs

From the time Kaiden was 18 months old we started implementing the "time out" method of discipline. Honestly, it seems to work. Sure there are days when Kaiden can rack up the time outs, but for the most part after one time out, he seems to get the message. In the past few months I have noticed that I have hardly had to use time outs at all. He pretty much "gets" the rules and after telling him once (sometimes twice) or "threatening" that if he doesn't listen to Mommy then he needs to go to time out.

With that said.....Kaiden has been a whiner from the time he was born. Up until a few months ago I gave him the benefit of the doubt and always made the excuse that "it's his only way he knows how to communicate." Blah, blah, blah. Well, recently his vocabulary and conversing abilities have soared and we realized it was time to get this whining thing under control. It has been driving us nuts! So, about two months ago when Kaiden started whining and/or crying for no reason we would tell him in a calm voice, "Kaiden, I don't understand you when you whine. If you want something then you need to use your nice words and tell Mommy or Daddy what it is that you want." We have even tried giving him the words to use. "Kaiden I don't understand what it is you want when you whine. Do you want water/cracker/hug, etc, etc.?" Sometimes this works, but other times he just keeps whining. So, we resort to telling him if he doesn't stop whining then he will have to go to his room until he is ready to speak nicely. We don't call this "time out," per se, because we are not disciplining him for whining, but rather letting him figure it out, calm himself down and ask for what he wants in a nice, calm manner.

In the beginning of using this technique it was a disaster. He would go crazy and sit in his room and cry and cry and cry. But, over the past couple of months, with some consistency, it has really seemed to work. If we do happen to use the method it seems to do the trick the first time. Of course there are exceptions like yesterday when he went in his room 4 different times in the span of an hour because he couldn't get it together. But, he eventually got the message and was fine for the rest of the evening.

My point to this story is that I believe that Kaiden finally "gets it." That mommy and daddy mean business and won't tolerate his whining and/or crying for no good reason anymore. And the reason I know that Kaiden "gets it" is because he demonstrated his own time out method today with Lightning McQueen. Yes, Lightening McQueen got a time out today. And when I asked Kaiden why Lightening McQueen was in "ime out" (as Kaiden would pronounce it) he answered, "McQueen crying. Ime out."



Here is Lightening McQueen in time out

2 comments:

Allison said...

Fantastic. Great job, mommy!!!

Mommy said...

how proud you must have felt T-love
that is incredible...
it's all about consistency from the
time they are born...

sweet sweet story!