Friday, February 6, 2009

Facebook Ettiqutte

I am addicted to Facebook. I love Facebook. I especially like to log on and read everyone's "status" for the day. You've got the stay-at-home mom types who you can spot from a mile away. Their status is always something to the effect of "off to a play date" or "tackling a mound of laundry" or "wondering if my kid will ever nap today." Then you've got your working friends that "can't wait till Friday" or "are sick of attending meetings all day long." I especially love my Northeastern friends who are braving this unseasonably cold weather. Their status always reads something like "is cold," "is wearing thermal underwear and two pairs of socks just to stay warm." Bless your heart you poor souls. It's about 75 and sunny here. But who am I to rub that in?

So anyways, I have been on FB (we will call it that from now on, cause that's how cool I am) for awhile now. I have gotten to reconnect with a whole slew of different people. A bunch from back in high school who I haven't seen in *cough* 13 years. A bunch from college. Family. And then, of course, friends that I have made out here in AZ. Every once-and-a-while a new friend will decide to join the millennium and get connected on FB and send me a "friend request." Here is where my dilemma begins.

I received a "friend request" the other day from a gal that went to my high school. She was in the class that graduated a year after me. I knew her. She was a nice girl, I believe. Shy type. But that's the extent of it. I don't know that I ever hung out with her. I don't know that I ever had an actual conversation with her. Not because I am trying to say I was a snob. But I just didn't have any classes with her nor were we involved in any of the same activities.

So what do I do? Do I "confirm" her as a "friend" and be done with it? Do I "decline" her request and be labeled as "the girl that declined her request?" And what happens when you actually decline a request? Cause when you accept it you get an email that says "So-and-so confirmed you as a friend on Facebook." I have visions of her getting an email that says something like this:

Dear Sally (name has been changed to protect the innocent),
I regret to inform you that you are officially a L-O-S-E-R. Tracey denied your friend request on FB based on the fact that she hardly knew you very well in high school and at this point doesn't give a rat's backside about what you are doing in your life now. Too bad, so sad. Better luck next time.
Otherwise have a great day!
Love-
The Facebook team

So, yeah, that's what has plagued my brain for the past several days. I know. I know. Pretty pathetic, eh? So, what is the proper ettique regarding FB friend requests?

9 comments:

Notwifezilla- Jackie said...

I'm saying ok her now, and then delete her as a friend in a few days. I wonder who she is and moreso, I wonder if I'm friends with her.
BTW, if you email me your home address, I'll be happy to mail you some peanut butter Kandykakes :)

chandy said...

I'm pretty new to the whole FB thing and I've enjoyed killing time there. I had a similar thing happen to me, where a girl I barely knew sent me a friend request. I accepted, and now every.single.headline is about her and who she's friends with and whose birthday she's added to her calendar and what she's doing this weekend. If I delete her, will it send her a message, or can I just go away quietly? This online social networking is ushering in a whole new set of etiquette rules...

Sarah Jewel said...

I would deny her request. You're under NO obligation to become instant friends with someone you essentially do NOT know. :) Especially if she requested an add without even bothering to leave a message with it! DENIED!

Melissa Darby said...

I think that if you decline the invite, they don'e actually know that, you just bever become their friend. Good luck, very funny!

Trish said...

I have my own rule. If we were nothing more than passing aquaintence and I receive no message with a freind request we will not be FB friends.

Katie said...

I'm a pathologic friend accepter, unless it's somebody whom I've never even heard of. Even then, I send a note apologizing and asking where I know this person from.

Danielle said...

I am ADDICTED to it too!! I would send her a personal message asking her what are her intentions for reaching you? Since you barely knew her..with that being said..can I add you as a freind?! LOL just kidding!! Do what your heart tells you to do!I also have added freinds that I barely knew, but have gotten to know them better and I like that. Also, it is a huge growth spurt from high school till adulthood, maybe she has grown up and is more mature..just a thought

Katie @ 3 Blondes and a Redhead said...

The way I see it, you have two choices: it's really harmless to accept her as a friend and you CAN delete her later. I don't think she gets a message either way. Maybe she always secretly looked up to you in HS? Or, you can ignore the request and move on with your life, no harm, no foul. Don't stress over it. My friend April is dealing with the stress of accepting or ignoring her current BOSS. She seriously just posted about it yesterday. Now THAT is AWKWARD!!!

Susan said...

I'm cracking up. My hub and I are NOT on facebook - nothing against it just no time. But his ex-wife just started, and has tried to "be-friend" all his friends and wives who they used to hang out with [let's say she betrayed not only my hub when she was married to him but turned her back on many a friend as well]... they went CRAZY!! And yes, our one friend's wife creamed her but only through a personal email. It was hysterical. Anyway, shy friends are probably just curious. Or maybe she's a supermodel now and wants to show off? Who knows!